Carl’s Jr. (or Hardees’s in the midwest) seems to be telling Subway Restaurants to “suck it” with their new (experimental) footlong cheeseburgers (I wish I was kidding, but I’m not). According to USA Today, the foot long cheeseburger is being tested at 50 Carl’s restaurants in Southern California and 50 Hardee’s in Indiana… and to really show Subway who’s boss, this mammoth burger is a mere $4 without lettuce and tomatoes, and $4.50 with. With one of these for puppies lunch, and a KFC Double Down for dinner, you’ll be 600 lbs. and dead by 40. USA!, USA!, USA!

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